Tag Archives: work

How Heavy Do You Travel?

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Summer_rentalHow Heavy Do You Travel?

Have you ever seen that Corona commercial, where the couple is sitting on a pair of chaise lounges, enjoying a nice, relaxing day at the beach, with nothing but a chair and an ice cold corona with lime.  Cue the family walking by, lugging all sort of beach stuff around, the guy looking stressed and disorganized.  I’ve always found that commercial amusing. Well, its a fitting segway for today’s little muse.

I was having a discussion not too long ago, with someone about, well, stress.  You see, she had a plethora of things going on in her life  and was struggling with it all.  Through this journey, I have come to see life a little differently and went on to describe my observation.  The point I expressed went something like this.  This body of ours is like a piece of luggage.  Throughout life, we pack all of the things we mentally give importance to, and hold onto throughout our lives.  So you might say, its a mind full of baggage.

Microsoft PowerPoint - Emotional Baggage PosterThese are the things that define our “self”. (yes the image is one sided, but you get the picture.)

Yet, it is our essence, our soul, whatever word you want to give it… that energy that nourishes and gives life to the “self”, who carries the burden of dragging that luggage along life’s path. To take it one step further, it is also this same energy that has the ability to choose what and what not to pack in this piece of luggage. To choose just how heavy to travel.

I left for a work trip to Las Vegas this past week. The trip out was, well let’s say, not smooth. The first leg was to Phoenix, AZ. While waiting in the terminal, a major storm came through, and this of course delayed the flight. As I waited, I observed many of the conversations going on, as well as the faces of those sitting around me. The drama, the despair, the outright depression being passed throughout those weary halls of the terminal. Many of the discussions going on, could have been deemed a duel of the greater hardships going on in their lives and the acute nature of how inconvenienced they were by this terrible disaster of a wait.

big baggage

As the afternoon turned to evening, the plane for which we were to board was found to have mechanical issues. Oh my, now the drama, despair and depression had turned into down right chaos, as if armageddon was upon us. The faces of terror created a new landscape for the zombie apocolypse and its subsequent transformation of normal human beings into a frantic crowd of flesh eating zombies preparing for attack on those whose unfortunate job it was to keep the peace for the airline. I had visions of the lovely airline desk attendant turning into a giant, bone crushing, Ogre as she was continually attacked by these brain sucking zombies.

Irrationality was being spewed, all around. The duels of hardship were becoming so lengthy and orated with such detail. The spectrum of drama touching all range of social interaction with life…. such misery! All, undoubtedly, in the quest for reaffirmation of this misery and sympathy for its plight. Ah, such a funny animal, human kind. Always in the quest for happiness, yet we fill this luggage of ours with such misery, and we hold onto it.Just like a closet full of old clothes and treasures”.

closet  So, cleaning out one’s closet to get rid of those old clothes, those great “treasures”,  takes great effort.   To let loose of those material things is a drama in itself, one might say a great tragedy!  Yet once gone, it is gone, likely never to be thought of again.

Was it the scenario of being held over late that caused this misery to unfold for all of these wandering, weary travelers?  I would say not.  I would say it was just an opportunity to unzip, open up and show each other the baggage they carry around with them. To compare and contrast, to compete, to justify and affirm, to search for favor, and to ultimately give purpose to that oh so precious self.  lugging

This whole experience opened up an opportunity for me to take an objective look at myself. To survey the baggage contained, in this great piece of luggage so graciously bestowed upon me, in this life of mine. You see, I came to realize, just like a piece of luggage, I choose what baggage I keep in the luggage. When preparing for life, just like preparing for a trip, I choose what thoughts to hold onto, just like I choose what items I “need” for my trip. In life, each experience elicits a particular flow of thoughts. The thoughts for which I give importance, that I hold onto, are the thoughts that become my baggage. Those I do not hold onto, that I do not give importance to, pass by and don’t weigh down my luggage. Sometimes I give importance to certain thoughts, and have the ability to let them go.  Just like packing for a trip and thinking I need four pairs of shoes, then coming to the realization that I would rather travel lighter and pack two.

So, really, it is my baggage that defines me.  For, the only difference between me and the brain sucking zombies that came out in that fateful night in June, is the baggage of my mind that I drag around in this luggage of a body, through those weary halls of the airport terminal.

baloons

I have learned to let go and not give importance to those thoughts that flow through my mind.  Don’t get me wrong, the thoughts are there, but I choose not to hold onto them.  I choose not to give them importance.  I choose not to pack so heavy and ultimately, I choose not to give in to that misery.

I wish you all the greatest of happiness in your lives and the ability to lighten your load, to not pack so heavy, to let go of some of that baggage. May you and all living things be peaceful,  be happy and….well…just be!

Trying Your Hardest…An Epiphany !

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trying hardThe other day I was sitting with my daughter, helping her with her homework.  Earlier in the day I had received and email from her teacher, letting me know about some of the struggles she had been having in class.  The comment that struck the largest chord, was that when working by herself, she would have difficulty focusing on her work and act as if she could not do it, but when the teacher would work one on one with her, she had no problem.  Ugg, my goal for my job as a dad, was to cultivate an independent, self thinking little lady!  The irony.  Well, so I had to come up with something that would “encourage” her to start doing her work independently.

Of course, at first, I was grilling her on the importance of being able to do things for herself and giving examples of when she did start doing various tasks on her own…i.e. walking, talking, taking a shower and so on, how proud she felt and expressed so. That, of course, elicited the glaze over in the eyes and eventually a rolling to go along with it. I had to do a reset and think.  I thought to myself, the teacher mentioned that when she was working alone, she was having issues staying focused.  Hmm, so instead of giving her encouragement and motivational talks, i would give her a specific task.  “Try your hardest,” I said (wow, I just made the world shake…right…ha).  I went on, “Try your hardest to focus on  every little movement, every little thought, every little part of the task at hand.  In this case, it was writing her name and a sentence, with proper placement of letters, proper punctuation, proper sizing and so on.  So, each letter, for example, I would tell her to “try your hardest” on each part of the letter as she wrote it.  To “try your hardest” to pay attention each moment with each movement of the pencil.  I then told her to “try your hardest” to recognize when she was not “trying your hardest.”  Then when she recognized that she was getting off track, to take a deep breath and blow it out.

epiphanies

That moment, KABOOM, I had an epiphany!!!  It’s amazing how often wisdom comes out of my interaction with my daughter.  What I realized at that moment, was that “Trying your hardest” is a fantastic tool, a fantastic reminder for bringing oneself into the moment.  To bring oneself completely into focus.  Just this simple phrase can initiate ones ability to reset the mind, and focus on the task at hand.  Very much like we train ourselves in meditation, to keep the mind in the moment by staying focused on one point and noticing when the mind is no longer focused on that point and bringing it back.  The only difference being, this is a way to bring our focus back during our everyday experiences.  Regardless of what it is, making breakfast, doing a spreadsheet at work, talking with a client, doing homework with a child, or writing your letters….tell yourself, “try my hardest” at every aspect of the task.  I tried it after my epiphany, and it was amazing how quickly I was able to observe my mind getting off task, and when I told myself to “try my hardest”, that I got right back on task.

Really, its nothing you haven’t heard before.  My parents always used to tell me to try my hardest and do my best.  Of course, I probably got the glaze over my eyes with a subsequent roll, but the truth is, whether they knew it or not, there was wisdom in those words.  The problem was, my interpretation of the words and subsequent defensive reaction of, “I am trying my hardest!,” was based more on being obsessed with the outcome of whatever task I happened to be engaged or the fact that in all reality I had other things on my mind, other “tasks” that i would rather be doing.  Funny the struggle between parent and child!

wandering mindThis, as we all know, is the plague of the human mind, always wandering somewhere else, anywhere else, instead of being focused on what is going on right now!  It is the scourge of productivity!  It is the nemesis of a peaceful mind!  It is the creator of all stress and misery!  Yes, I know, a bit dramatic, but it is the truth!  For a mind that is in the moment, can never be stressed, can never be miserable, for it is in this state that it can process all that is necessary to make it through.  It is in this state, that the machine we all call our brain works at its highest efficiency with the least effort.  It is the state in which we can observe our true nature, our true self, the energy that exists beyond that which we call…I…me.

So, “try your hardest,”  it is nice reminder, a catch phrase if you will, a reset button, for bringing the focus back to the moment.  Just like my daughter, when writing her name, what exactly was trying her hardest?  Trying her hardest was to place attention to every part of the construction of writing her name.  From the grip on her pencil, to the placement of the pencil on the paper, to every movement of her hand while making each little line or curve, to the proper spelling of the word, to the orientation of which she would write it.  Who knew there was so much involved in writing a letter, let alone a word. Yet, ultimately, it was placing all focus on the task at hand, on the moment!

happy childSo I say to you, my faithful reader….go out…and challenge yourself to..”TRY YOUR HARDEST”..  Remind yourself, as you meander through your day, creating your masterpiece of life, to “Try Your Hardest” to focus on each and every moment of your creativity!  To “Try Your Hardest” to be aware of this gift we call life, and live it in its only reality, which is, moment to moment!  Of course, as is with anything, the more you “Try Your Hardest”….the easier it will become to find yourself being in the moment and living a happier….more peaceful….and more productive life.

I wish you all much happiness….much peace….and much success with this beautiful thing we all call life!!!

Show Up and Make Something Good Happen!

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MadreTeresaCalcutaconpobres-485x363The other day I attended the funeral of my best friend from childhood’s Mother.  Her name was Carolyn.  She was quite the woman, having an impact on so many lives during her time here on Earth.  Now, when I was young, I looked upon Carolyn with different eyes or at least a different set of values.  The manner in which she approached everyday life appeared, well, kind of calloused and very non-nuturing.  Of course,  that’s coming from her son’s best friend, who was on the outside looking in, but it was always Mark do this, Mark do that….right before we were ready to go out on the boat…Mark, you have to (and a list of 5 things would spout out)…I mean really, it was quite the inconvenience.  You see, as is with most young folks, when the plan didn’t go as expected, well darn it, we didn’t like it.  Let’s just say, the plan rarely worked out the way  we (Mark or I or any other friends that were around for that matter) expected it to if Mrs. Carolyn was around.  Therefore, my opinion of Carolyn at that time was, well, much less than favorable.

You see, the thing I didn’t give any importance to about Carolyn were the things that went on beyond my petty inconveniences.  I mean, I knew she did Meals on Wheels and did things with several other charitable organizations, but that was the extent of it, I knew about it.  Man, but there was so much more.  The list went on and on as I read the obituary the family put together and as I talked to some folks at the funeral.  Not to mention, she cultivated four absolutely spot on kids.  Successful in career, successful in family, darn it, really just successful in life.  Of course, we cannot forget the marriage that she and her husband kept going for so many years, through the thick and the thin, between two very strong-minded folks, a miracle in itself.

Now that I am older, and much, much, much wiser, well, I have been able to venture beyond the cover of this book.  To see Carolyn for what she really was, and that was a beacon of selflessness and compassion.  A woman, with the strength and persistence to always do the right thing, and let others know when they weren’t.  A trait rarely seen today in any part of the world.  A woman whose expectations for the world around her were not to gain her favor, but to enable those she touched to live a better life.  A woman who rarely if ever wavered in the face of adversity.  A woman who lived her life not asking “what’s in it for me” but “how can I make something good happen for another.”   Yes, certainly her delivery could often seem callous, but behind that delivery was a volition filled with only good intention.   Really, someone we could all learn a few lessons from.

So, during the funeral, my friend Mark chose to get up in front of the congregation to speak a little bit about his mom.  He started out with a little humor, but then gave one of the most amazing and inspiring pieces of oratory goodness that I had ever heard.  Its simplicity was the magnificence of its brilliance.  He told everyone (I am paraphrasing here, as I could only wish I had been recording it but this is what i got from it), that the greatness of his mom was very simple and that he wanted to share it with us and that it was going to save us a lot of money.  He said that we didn’t need someone like Tony Robbins, or a therapist and so on to motivate and help us through life.  He said, that we only need to encompass our lives with one simple phrase….SHOW UP and MAKE SOMETHING GOOD HAPPEN (of course, when he says make something good happen, he means for those other than yourself).   Man, he said that, and I nearly lost my breath. Something super simple, yet the most powerful words I had ever heard!   He went on to say that his mom never planned on doing the things she did in life, she didn’t graduate from college and  have some list of things she wanted to do, a bucket list per say.  He said, she would feel drawn to a cause, SHOW UP and MAKE SOMETHING GOOD HAPPEN!  Whether it be a charitable cause or just going over to a person’s  house that was in need and spend an hour or two with them. She would just SHOW UP and MAKE SOMETHING GOOD HAPPEN!  Man, I so wanted to give a standing ovation when he was done, but I guess that didn’t seem apropos for a funeral.

Wow, SHOW UP and MAKE SOMETHING GOOD HAPPEN!  This should be the new slogan for selflessness.  Actually, this should just be the new slogan for Life.  How much more in the moment can you get.  Show up to your experience and just focus on  making something good happen!!  Not focused on the past or the future or the results for that matter…damn it, just SHOW UP and MAKE SOMETHING GOOD HAPPEN.  I mean really, just take a few minutes and think about how this could impact your life in general.  How, in your family, social and career life if you incorporated this way of life,  the moment you open your eyes in the morning until the moment you close your eyes to sleep at night.  Wow, how things could change for the better in all facets of life.

I want to thank my friend Mark for sharing with us his mother’s simple formula for making a difference in the lives of those she touched and in turn making a difference in the world around us!  Such a special gift she has bestowed upon us all! A treasure in fact that I think could change one’s life for the better!   I encourage all of you, find a way each and every day to SHOW UP and MAKE SOMETHING GOOD HAPPEN!  No matter if it is at work, at school, in a social setting or at home, just do it man!!   I start today, as my fingers SHOW UP on this keyboard and are  MAKING SOMETHING GOOD HAPPEN!  Let’s spread it around!! Imagine if we could make a movement for all mankind to SHOW UP and MAKE SOMETHING GOOD HAPPEN!!  Every day…..heck…every moment!!  Yes, I know, quite ambitious….but hey, it can’t be any more simple than this….ya never know!!

Well, I wish much happiness and peace to you all on this journey.  May you find the strength to look beyond your self and find a little selflessness and compassion towards those you touch everyday.  I promise that in turn, you will experience a glimpse of true happiness in life!

The Dying Art of the Creative Moment

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My eyes opened, as the sound of Moonlight Sonata, so eloquently created by a Mr. Ludwig Van Beethoven, calmly gave introduction to a new day.  The shadows of the ceiling fan fluttered as if there were a butterfly, readying itself to land upon the window cill. I turned over to the warmth of my little Pug Ling, as she shook her head and greeted me with a gregarious snort as her imperfectly curled tail tried to follow the wiggle of her back end.  As blurred visions of the grand adventure of epic proportions I experienced before my waking moments, drifted off into the lost Dewey Decimal System of my mind, I came upon a faint moment that struck a conscious vibration of disapproval and even anxiety.  This moment of intensity quickly dispersed as two familiar spheres of green and yellow and brown came into sight, encompassed by a halo of soft light, and the sound of “good morning daddy”  that reverberated a flow of the most enlightening vibration of peace and happiness, nourishing every cell in my body, from this little light of my life, as if she were the sun giving life to the avocado tree outside the window.  I reached out to embrace this little light of my life, Luciana her name, the Italian equivalent for light, so appropriate, so true to life, and she expressed a whimsical  ahmmm which let me know that all was good in the world and that she was now ready for her day!

Talk about being in the moment!  Its amazing the detail that comes into focus during an experience such as this.  Ah, the creative process, what an amazing tool, an amazing gift, an amazing discovery.  Simple really, just allowing oneself to be completely in the moment and create, not bound by any future or past limitation….this is where the masterpiece is, well, created!  Likely, why it is the starving artist that so often is the true creator of such bliss.  For to create for the purpose of gaining favor or income for that matter, will always taint the process.  Creativity is a flow, a flow of the sum of all that is, and then an attachment to something in that flow….ah….a creation is born.  Then how, can i give full attention to this attachment if I am anywhere other than in the moment?  Ah, I cannot, therefore my creation is distorted by its insignificance.

Writer’s block for example, what is writers block?  Most of the time, i think it is due to the desire to create.  Sounds crazy, right?  Maybe not,.  For the creative process is being bound by not the desire to create, but for that entity, that attainment, that goal in the future that has elicited this desire to create….unfortunately no longer allowing the artist to be completely in the moment.  Maybe why we see the creative process becoming a relic, a cyclical copy of what has been.  As the creative process has been hijacked by the almighty dollar.

When I write, i am in the moment , for if I am not, i no longer have anything creative to say.  For just as creativity, wisdom is only found in the moment.  It is the essence of the flow, it is the constant that can be observed, only in the moment.  Not bound by the noise beyond the flow.  Find the flow my friends, embrace it, live it, be it……and CREATE!!!!

So you wanna know about meditation….eh??

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ImageLast week I wrote about an experience I had during meditation, and of course this produced a couple of messages asking about meditation.  What technique I practiced?  How does one get the same experience I described?  Is there one meditation better than the other?  We human beings are such funny animals, often confused with the concept of simplicity and have this funny little way of creating complexity out of it.

When I first started my quest for meditation, I had many of the same questions and spent so much time analyzing the different practices, different sitting positions, different sitting areas, you name it…I analyzed it!  Of course, I eventually realized that this is my nature, but that discussion is for another day!  Well, finallly after going through all of the analization process, I picked a particular discipline and dove in! (I’m not going to get into specifics, as to not lay influence, one must find their own path.  If you truly would like to know, send me a message and I will happily go into it further.)  I will say, it was one of the most difficult things that I have done in my life, but of course one of , if not the most important as well!  As I have mentioned before, it is the most important tool that I have, as I meander through this river of life!

So you wanna know about meditation…eh???  It is very simple, in fact its the backbone of this experiement I have been talking about!  It is the objective observation of your point of focus, moment to moment.  No, really, its that simple, but as I mentioned above, we are very complex animals, whose minds, well,  just don’t like simplicity…or atleast fight it, tooth and nail!!  You see, meditation is the retraining of the ole noggin.  Well, the ole noggin, its kinda fond of those old habits of the mind (some refer to that as the ego) and isn’t real interested in this retraining!  So, well, its a gonna fight ya!   But rest assured, persistance and patience will prevail!  Just like a child, persistance and patience will always give better long term results!

So, the objective observation of your point of focus, moment to moment.  Hmm, what exactly does that mean?  There are many forms of meditation, in fact I am pretty sure most reading this post have engaged in some sort of meditation at one point or another.  There are those that do mantra (chants), those that focus on an object, those that focus on bodily sensations, those that focus on breath, those that focus on sound.  So, what do all of these have in common?  Well, there is a point of focus.  So, how about prayer?  How about physically working out?  How about playing a video game?  How about a crossword?  How about doing a painting?  How about working on a physics problem?  These are all things that one often becomes completely absorbed, completely focused in the moment, and in my opinion are all forms of meditation.

Now, the real tricky part, the objective observation, becoming third person, really…just being.  Where one is able to allow things (feelings, thoughts, fears, desires)  beyond that point of focus, to materialize, quikly observe them as they materialize, and be completely objective towards them, accept them for what they are and really allow them to eventually pass, all the time keeping the attention on that point of focus!

Yes, your mind will wander!  Yes, you will give more attention to those thoughts rushing through your head!  Yes you will react to that funny feeling in your leg, or that itch on your arm!  That is where the objectivity is most critical!  That is where going, okay, I lost focus on my point of focus for a bit, no big deal (get used to saying no big deal to yourself), and reset and begin your meditation again!  Little by little, with great patience and persistence, you will start to experience the beauty in retraining that ole noggin of yours!  For this is the immediate goal, retrain the mind to be focused, moment to moment!  Eventually you will observe your true nature, and it will be easier and easier to accept it for what it is, and when this happens you will see the retraining process become easier and easier.

So, why is it that I am retraining?  Do an experiment on yourself and I promise you will understand why!  Although our greatest asset in the creation of our masterpiece, the mind, it is also our primary source of misery, really our only source, our greatest enemy!  Throwing anchors of fear in the past and shooting arrows of desire to the future (or vise verse), not allowing us to experience the only true reality of what is going on moment to moment!  So picture each one of those anchors and arrows with a big rope attached and the other end hooked to you!  Yow-ch, sounds pretty painful!  The beauty of retraining the ole noggin, is that it gives us the opportunity to let go of those ropes, pop those hooks, accept those arrows and anchors for what they are, and just let go of those ropes that are attached to them with the power of objectivity, the power of…well…”no big deal”!  Understand, you will throw those anchors and shoot those arrows again!  But, now you have gathered this beautiful tool of meditation, of awareness, of retraining the ole noggin and maybe you won’t throw or shoot them as often, or maybe you will not hold onto the ropes as long as you once did!

This has been my observation of meditation.  I hope it helps in some way.   I wish you all strength, patience and persistence on your journey through this beautiful river of life, but most of all I wish you much peace and much happiness!